Can You Hear Me Now?

As a parent of young children, I’ve seen first-hand how difficult it can be for them to listen to what I’m saying. Sometimes I’ll try to tell them something, but their attention gets diverted — say, by a toy — and my words just slide right on by. Or, they get so focused on what they’re trying to ask (or tell) me, that they keep saying it over and over, but fail to hear what I tell them in response.

The thing is, I know they can hear. But are they actually listening to what I’m saying in that moment? That’s a different question.

It can be easy to brush this off as merely a result of their age. But how often do grown-ups do the same thing? We may physically hear what others are saying, but do we find ourselves truly listening to what they’re trying to say?

This can take place in personal conversations — I know I’ve had my share of moments where I realize I missed half the conversation because I was thinking about something else — but can also take place on other levels.

It can take place in business. Organizations and leaders can think they’re moving the business forward, but miss the fact that they’re not actually listening to what their employees, customers — and sometimes the markets — have to say.

Or in politics. There are plenty of things being said by the voters, both through what is being vocalized, as well as through the voting process itself. But will those in office, and the parties they represent, truly hear and engage with what is being communicated?

Listening well doesn’t necessary mean agreeing with, or doing, whatever someone else says. But it does mean trying to understand what they’re saying and where they’re coming from. And even through we may disagree, if I know someone has actually heard me out and understands where I’m coming from, it’s way easier to get along, in spite of the differences of opinion.

Unfortunately, this ability to hear what others are saying is a skill that is becoming more and more rare. Which also means it’s a skill that is becoming all the more important in the our increasingly polarized society.