What quicker way is there to start feeling bad about who you are and what you’ve done than to start comparing yourself with others? I just heard someone use the phrase “compare and despair” earlier this week. Although I’ve written about comparison1 in the past, this was the first time I heard this specific phrase used to describe this experience that most of us have had.
The problem is there will always be someone out there who has something you don’t or who is better at something than you. And when you see these examples, it’s only too natural to focus on what you don’t have instead of being grateful for what you do have.
It’s easy to say, “Just don’t compare,” but it’s much harder to practice. So, if you are going to compare, why not limit the comparison to one person—your past self. Are you growing into the kind of person you aspire to be? Are you learning from what you’ve experienced? If you see growth, you have something to be thankful for. And if not, you have something to focus on. Either way, despair need not be part of the equation.
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Previous posts include The Danger of Comparing Back Stages to Front Stages and Learning When to Compare. ↩︎