When something goes wrong, the natural tendency is to look for someone else to blame. And often, it’s quite easy to find the things that others should have done differently. And while it may be true that someone else may have made a mistake, unfortunately we can use this as an excuse to overlook any part we also had in the outcome.
Sure, we may not have physically done this or that, but did our words or actions (or lack thereof) contribute to the problem? Did we speak up when we had a chance? Did we train them properly, or communicate clearly? What steps did we take towards creating an environment where these kinds of mistakes are avoided?
The failure of one member of the team is often the result of more than just that one member. It also involves the systems and culture of the organization, as well as the feedback and training they’ve received. And so anyone involved in these broader areas also shares some responsibility for the consequent results.
Changing the Question
The question should not be, who else is to blame? But, what could I have done differently to change the outcome?
And this approach is not just for when things go terribly wrong. Say someone misunderstands what I’m trying to say. I can either immediate assume the issue is because of them — maybe they’re just not that smart. Or, I can look in the mirror, and ask myself, how can I communicate better next time? Or if a client isn’t cooperating the way I’d like, I may be tempted to immediately put the blame on them. But instead, I can ask, what could I do next time to better set the proper expectations up front?
There is always room for each of us to grow. But shifting the blame onto everyone else only serves to divert our attention from the ways we can continue to improve. Taking personal responsibility, though, focuses our attention on the things we can control: our own attitudes and actions.
It also provides a sense of empowerment. If we recognize our part in the problem, we can also recognize how to be part of the solution — something that simply shifting the blame doesn’t provide.