When establishing a new habit or skill, getting started is the most critical step. If you never show up and get started, nothing else matters. But sometimes — and perhaps you’ve experienced this — in our desire to make big changes or accomplish big goals, we get way too ambitious in what we try to tackle.
We want to lose weight, or get in better shape, and so we tell ourselves we’re going to work out an hour every day, stop eating all sugar and processed foods, drink more water, and get more sleep. Now, there’s nothing wrong with any of these individually, but if each one is a radical departure from our current lifestyle, trying to change everything all at once is going to be extremely difficult. And even if we stick with all these changes for a few days, it’s often not long before we’re back to where we started.
Long Term Perspective
Instead of trying to do everything at once, it would be better to focus on one small change at a time and devote our attention to that one only.
We may be afraid to do this because we think that if we only do one thing at a time, it’s not going to make any difference. Because, isn’t focusing on only one at a time less efficient? Perhaps. But it all depends on your perspective.
Yes, focusing on one at a time will take longer in some ways. But if doing so actually helps establishes a new habit, then did it really take longer? If it takes me a year to establish a handful of habits, because I’m focusing on one at a time, is that really longer than getting too ambitious and failing to establish any significant changes at all over the next year?
And if we look at it from the perspective of the rest of our life, isn’t taking a little extra time now worth the years of benefits that establishing a good habit could bring?
Starting Small
If this is our perspective — i.e. it’s better to slow down and take longer to establish new habits, than to try to do everything at once — then we’ll also need to determine how we’re going to establish the new habit we’re working on.
Again, it’s a good idea to start small and build from there, than to go big and not be able to sustain our efforts.
For instance, if developing a habit of daily exercise is my goal, better to start by exercising 10 minutes every day, and slowly establish a habit, than to try to work out for an hour a day, and only keep it up for a couple days.
The reason starting small helps is it creates less resistance to getting started. If I’m only committing to doing a few minute of an activity, it’s going to be much easier to get started than if I need to block out an hour. If a lot of time or energy is required, there may be some days where it’s going to feel overwhelming. But, if there’s a low barrier to getting started, the more likely I’m going to do so. And getting started is half the battle.
And if you’re able to get started, day in and day out, it makes it more likely that you’ll stick with it. And over time, it become automatic. And then, as you begin to gradually increase the time you spend, you can do so without being afraid that you’re going to lose the habit you’ve already established.
Slowing Down
I know from personal experience that it can be tempting to try to change too many things at once — if fact, this is a tendency I still battle. But I’m beginning to learn that I don’t need to change everything overnight.
Sure, it may feel slow. But when seen through the broader perspective of my entire life, taking a few extra months to establish a worthwhile habit is well worth the extra time to make sure it sticks.
Better to slow down and incrementally make changes, than to go too fast and see no change at all.